Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
