Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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