Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think people are normalizing furries
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
