If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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