Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
