I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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