Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
