My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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