Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
