you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
