I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My liver just had a heart attack.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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