I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
