I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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