you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
