why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't like sucking hair
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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