My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
