Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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