You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
