I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
