Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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