Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
