He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
