I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
