I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How does one acquire holy water?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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