I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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