the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
