the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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