I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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