It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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