Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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