we have officially lost it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
