I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
