dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
