John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
