He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
