Do you still have your period?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
