Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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