Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
