I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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