Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We are two peas in an std pod
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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