Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
