I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
