How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
