**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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