I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
