tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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