I feel like I'm in dance class right now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
