we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
