If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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