At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
