I'm drive I can fine osifer
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
