we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
