my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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