he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize