Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it hurts more in the daytime
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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