i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
