just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dicks are not precious.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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