Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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