New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
