OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm having to shit out rocks
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
