I CAN MOONWALK!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
