The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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