he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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